slavetothestage: (ravenclaw)
[personal profile] slavetothestage
So I haven't updated in a while. It's 1 in the morning and I don't know why I'm really updating now.

All in all, this has been a crappy summer so far. Probably the biggest reason is the fact that I have yet to find a job. And I'm not talking the money aspect even, although, really, I'm practically broke. I just feel so entirely pathetic and useless sitting around the house. I haven't been able to go anywhere because I'm in and out of job interviews pretty much every week. Plus, I quite frankly don't have the money to go anywhere (except someplace I wouldn't have any expenses). Thankfully having job interviews on a fairly regular basis has kept my parents out of my hair about work. My dad's just not happy with life and my mom's having more and more problems with these freak migraines which came back after her brother died and she had to really take care of his widow for a couple of weeks. Why am I whining? My mom has had a much worse time of it.

But I'm just so sensitive about it all. I feel on the edge of crying so much of the time and it's pissing me off. I just want to be out of the house, working, feeling productive, until I can finally go back to school (where I have TWO jobs waiting for me). Plus I'm pretty isolated out here in Jersey, something that's partly my own fault. If I put a little more energy into it, I could have seen several people by this point in the summer. At the same time, I'm really nervous about spending money, because, again, I don't have it.

The thing with the job situation... I started the summer interviewing for some really awesome internship positions. And got rejected, obviously. By the time it became apparent I needed to lower my sights, it was already halfway through June. Now it's July, and I just keep thinking, "Who's going to hire someone for two months?" It's making me horribly claustrophobic. I'm on Craigslist every day. It's just...frustrating. I'm an intelligent human being. This shouldn't be that difficult.

I don't like the person I am right now.
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slavetothestage

December 2009

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